Brady's road to possible redemption
by Brea45
Summary: Hell made you into a demon the moment you forgot what love was. Brady reflects on his time with Sam.


AN: Alright so when I saw Brady in episode 5.20 this was what came of it. The whole episode inspired me to write so I hope that you like.

Demons didn't love. They were incapable of it really. That's what _made_ them demons. In hell you were tortured every moment for months, years, the special few only lasted a few days. The discrepancy due to that fact that to become a demon, you had to loose your ability to love. Now you could say yes to the torture, to the knife, to the pain, but you didn't truly become a demon until you no longer had the ability to love. Those who lost that ability while still on earth were the lucky ones.

Most humans would think that being unable to love makes it impossible for a demons to like someone. That is entirely untrue. Especially for Brady in regard to Sam Winchester.

Brady, well demon Brady, really did like Sam. Liked him throughout their entire acquaintance. To Brady, Sam was the first human since coming out of The Pit, that showed him any kind of compassion. Brady hadn't understood it, or many of the other emotions that Sam expressed or instilled, but he accepted them and they made Brady...like Sam.

Brady liked Sam so much in fact that he decided that, going along with Azazel's plan, he would find his best friend a nice girl. But not just a nice girl, the _best_ girl he could find for Sam. Because he liked him and you gave the best you could when you liked someone, or at least that's the way Brady understood it.

"Sam, I want you to meet Jess, She's in my gross anatomy class."

Brady was very pleased with the way Sam's eyes lit up when he saw her.

"Hi," Sam said holding out his hand for Jess to squeeze.

"Nice to meet you," Jess was smiling already.

Brady thought he was a genius. "See I knew you two would hit it off."

Both Sam and Jess blushed as they reprimanded him for his smug smirk.

Although Brady was happy about getting the first part of Azazel's plan completed he wasn't happy about the time he had to spend away from Sam. Brady couldn't help being possessive of his only friend. Although a demon being possessive wasn't all that unheard of the feeling left Brady at quite a loss.

So, one week before Brady left Stanford, Brady decided they needed a guys night. "What do you say Sammy. Just the two of us, some Jack Daniels," Brady didn't have to fake the hopeful tone of his voice, he rarely had to fake anything around Sam.

"I don't know...Jess wanted to go out to a movie..." Sam's voice was reluctant and apologetic.

"Oh, Well no problem you just..." Brady was faking it this time. Trying to hide the strange pain that started blossoming in his chest at Sam's words.

"No. I haven't been able to spend that much time with you lately. I'll reschedule with Jess and be over there at about eight k?"

That was another thing Brady liked about Sam, he could always tell when Brady was faking.

That night was the best Brady had ever had. They talked and laughed and Brady made Sam drink way too much so that they could spend a few more hours together since Sam wasn't the type of guy to drive home drunk. Brady also loved how touchy of a drunk Sam was, constantly holding his arm or patting his leg or draping an arm around his shoulder. That and Brady could get away with staring at him as much as he possibly could.

Then Brady couldn't help it any more, he knew that Sam wouldn't appreciate it, and it was really risky since the original Brady was straight and hadn't shown any sort of inclinations for this but, to hell with it they were both drunk and that could be an excuse for anything. So when Sam was leaning on him, all sloppy grins and twinkling eyes staring into his Brady leaned forward. It wasn't much of a kiss, as far as Brady's previous experiences went but it made his entire body tingle strangely and his eyes drift close in something close to bliss. Sam for his part seemed to have been shocked into stillness so didn't pull away at first. Then when he did realize what was going on he just leaned back a little to look at Brady with that little confused frown he got when he was trying to solve a particularly complicated Trig problem.

"Sorry," Brady said softly because that was all he could think to say.

"What? Brady," There was a kind of sad sort of pity in Sam's voice. Like he knew something Brady didn't. Like there was something that Brady couldn't understand about this that he should.

Because this was just supposed to be about sex...or something but it really wasn't and he didn't understand.

Thankfully they were both too drunk to have any type of conversation about that and Brady avoided Sam for the next full week before he officially dropped out of Stanford.

Brady had been kind of expecting to see Sam eventually. What with him being the guy that killed Jess and now being the liaison for Pestilence it was inevitable. What he hadn't expected was the pain it would bring him. The physical pain wasn't anything to sneeze at but it was that same strange pain in his chest that had Brady cringing. Made him resentful and hard and act all nasty to Sam.

Then Sam mentioned Jess and Brady knew that wasn't really what he was talking about, he was talking about that kiss, about that last night where they had slept off their inebriation in the same bed but didn't _do_ anything.

"That was the real me. Remember how much time you spent trying to get me back on the right track? You really were a good friend," Brady said staring at Sam remembering all those time they had together, and realizing how much it hurt to realize he would never see Sam smile again. The pain made him angry so he lashed out again trying his hardest to make Sam feel how much he was hurting. Then Sam was right there and he could feel the blade against his skin and he encouraged it because if it made Sam feel better then he knew it couldn't be all that bad for him to die.

But Sam didn't do it and he was gone again and everything spiraled wildly out of control.

Brady had done all the things he talked about but he had honestly expected Sam to be his leader at the end of all of it. For Sam and him to still be best friends. But Azazel had somehow messed everything up and here Brady was, standing in some dark alley, the only friend he ever remembered having, prepared to kill him. He didn't even get the chance to have a real private conversation with him. So he was arrogant and angry and trying very hard to piss Sam off so that this would go quick so that he wouldn't have to see the hate in Sam's eyes anymore.

"Maybe the difference between you and a demon, is that your Hell is right here!" Brady yelled and then there was the knife in his gut and he could feel himself fading away and he finally knew what it was that Sam had made him feel and he kind of hated him for it. "Love y..." and then there was a bright flash of light before his eyes and then nothing.


End file.
